I seem to have weird obsessions, that if I start, I can't stop. For example: When I get it into my mind that I want to paint my nails, I can't stop thinking about it, until it actually happens. YouTube videos are the same, I won't stop searching until I am satisfied, which usually means I'm at it for hours.
That's what my summer has consisted of so far. I have gone to see one of my friends off to prom, I have gone to school with my mom. I took the family to get pedicures, I've put in my 4 volunteer hours at my job. I've read 2 books. I've unpacked and cleaned my room. I've been tanning in the backyard. Doing chores around the house. Simply just enjoying the time...
Now comes the problem, at night right before I would fall asleep, I get anxious. I have yet to find the reason, but it's upsetting, I have the worst anxiety, when it hits, it really hits. I have to concentrate on my breathing and then just try and keep my head clear. I have an ever present difficulty with living in the moment and not obsessing over the past and the future. Memories keep me stuck and fear keeps me stuck. I just need to learn not to look too far forward, and just enjoy and live in the moment. Goal for the summer!
Goals:
1.) learn to relax
2.) learn to cook
3.) lose weight
4.) write, write, write
xoxo,
Jordan
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