KJB Lately: Losing My Resolve

Y'all moving to a new city is hard. Moving to a new state is hard. Making all these moves alone is even harder. The fact that these moves took me to the opposite side of the country where I know literally a handful of people in the immediate vicinity- has honestly took Thomas and I on a wild ride!

However...

I got to thinking this weekend (Memorial Day Weekend) how my time here {in Davis} feels a lot like my freshman year of college. I loved during the week cause people were always around and then the weekend came it was a real solitary event cause everyone was going out and I was staying in to watch movies. As previously mentioned, this didn’t really change until sophomore year when I joined Greek life {the best decision of my life}. 

I’m cool. I have Thomas and tv but there’s sometimes when I’m like— I should probably interact with {other} humans.

But I really don’t know how to meet people— it’s nearly impossible.

I’m already at a disadvantage— these places are already unfamiliar to me. 

Where do the "older young people" go to meet other humans?

I have no idea- and if you’re alone how do you make conversation with someone else? Right, cause I need to jive with someone I know to meet someone I don’t. I'm truly in my element when I'm feeding off of others.

Also- if I’m going somewhere alone- am I not wanting to be bothered? Are others?

And like— do I have to be drunk to make friends in the bathroom?? I don't really like to drink... & I’m not a great actor

All I wish is that there was a closer Alpha Gam alumnae group!

The take-away from this meltdown:

Like how do adults make friends??WHERE. DO. THEY. GO.WHAT. DO. THEY. DO.

 Like this whole not having coworkers thing is rough!

Then there's the "what am I doing?" meltdown of being 26 and my life not being what I envisioned at 14. Honestly, that's probably for the best-- but like WTF. I wanted to be married by 23, at the latest 25. Nope, didn't happen. Like, y'all I've never even been on a date. These 26 years have been a old run at a dumpster fire.

I had to request a pep talk from my BFF, that ironically we haven't been in the same room together since the day prior to her graduation... which was in December 2014:

"No no no that's normal. What's important is that where you are is a BUILDING BLOCK to where you want to be. There's a reason people say 30 is the new 20. It's because we do things on a different timeline and that INCLUDES all aspects of live. Don't stress, just enjoy the ride. You got this."

Which naturally worked wonders for the fact that God willing my admittance to law school, I'll be graduating around 30. So while I've always wanted to be Elle Woods, it just took me awhile to come back to the original goal!

And then this photo appeared on Facebook's "On This Day"...

Paired with this quote:

"You will get there when you are meant to be there and not one moment sooner. So relax, breathe and be patient."

So here's to this adventure and not losing my resolve to kick ass!

 xo,

KJB