Happy New Year, Happy KJB

"2015 will be a selfish year. My time and focus will be invested on me. On improving myself. I want to become a better person physically and mentally. I want to let go of my fears and learn to love myself."

I find the greatest things on Tumblr. And so- maybe selfish isn't right. But I know that everything in my life and everything that happened in 2014- happened for a reason and I'm a better person for it.

2014 Accomplishments:

*I accepted the body I'm in

*I accepted the ghosts of my past and let things go

*I accepted I am enough & didn't chase after anyone that made me feel otherwise

*I learned to enjoy where I am in life

*I learned and accepted you don't always get what you want and that's sometimes a blessing in disguise

*I fully enjoyed my last 2 semesters of college

*I have and made great (forever) friends

The saying goes some people are supposed to be around your whole life and others are supposed to only make an appearance. Sometimes that's a blessing in disguise. I love all of my current friends because I know that they want to be here, in my life. I've learned- stay away from people that make you feel less than or that you're hard to love. If someone wants to be in your life they'll make it happen. It might sound like I'm quoting Justin Long from He's Just Not That Into You-- it's because essentially I am.

For example: There was this boy- nothing ever happened, turned out it was a relationship friendship entirely in my head- which made it ridiculous and exhausting. Until I realized- this year, well 2014- that if he didn't want to be in my life, why did I want him there? So I unfriended, unfollowed, etc- I stopped checking up on him and I've never been happier. You don't always control what happens to you in your life, but you always get to decide how you're going to react to it.

I am a genuinely happier person now than I have any previous recollection of. I haven't won the lottery or lost a significant amount of weight but I am genuinely happy. I have fabulous friends and family and I have my college degree (admittingly- I'm still waiting for its arrival). I can say without sadness or remorse that my childhood is over, maybe- probably it has been for awhile, but commencement and the closing of 2014, really cemented it in my mind.

Today, mom & Jade went back to school. Next week, my friends go back to college and here I am, about to start the rest of my life. Maybe that's cliche, but I'm about to start my path towards, the future, and isn't that exciting? I think this year is where I learn to walk alone. Not be lonely, but rather- this path is entirely my own. Up until this point, I've gone to school and worked towards this point, and now it's finally here. I've applied for my dream job with my sorority and if I get to continue the process I have a few months ahead of me before I'll know the final outcome and if it's not meant to be, I'll start applying for jobs near and far that apply to my career path. God has a plan. In the devotional, we have had since at least 6th grade, on January 1st- Max Lucado said, "God had packed you on purpose for a purpose." I know that whatever I'm moved to do in life- be a buyer, like I went to school for; be a costume designer, like I've always wanted; or something I haven't even thought of yet- God has and will provide.

I feel like 2014- was truly my year, and that I found myself. So I can only imagine how 2015 is going to outdo itself.

My only goals for 2015: continue to be happy and enjoy the journey 

xoxo 

KJB