Twenty One!!!!

It's official! I'm 21!

Birthday Babes!
Megdan

Biffle!

First Drink!
21!

Birthday Babes!
Happy Birthday

  This is how I spent my 21st.

xoxo

Jordan 

Fears

If asked what my biggest fears are, initially it seems like a short silly list: 1) Martin Short 2) clowns 3) the sound giant spiders make on movies. But the past few days, I've been going through a rough patch. Classes, assignments, sorority, expectations. No matter what you do there's always expectations. And just recently I've realized I disappoint no one more than myself when I fall short of them. Which isn't surprising, you're always your toughest critic. But something I realized while at the rec today, I do the best thinking there, I found myself trying to keep from crying... My biggest fear isn't Martin Short... It's not being good enough. Height, weight, appearance, school, friends, family I'm always doing something to make someone else proud. I'm not saying that I wouldn't be doing these things on my own accord but my issue is that I kill myself trying to get it perfect to get praise from others. And I think that's where my issue today arose. Cause until this epiphany in the gym, I never thought I was one of those people pleasers, those praise seekers, I thought I did everything in the quest of making myself happy. And realizing this was truly upsetting. Even more upsetting is the deep seeded issues that caused this and how it has effected aspect of my life. You never truly shake the feeling that you aren't good enough. You just learn to accept it and try like hell to quiet that voice.

One day at a time. 

xoxo

Jordan

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Some might be thinking, how is that possible? December already came and went. And you would be correct. I'm referring to February, my birth month  and MY favorite part of the year! I'll be 21! It's truly exciting! Not because of drinking, I don't have much of a taste for it, but because once you're 21, in my book, you're a full blown adult! There's nothing you can't do! And I'm so very excited to see what will happen!

Happy Birthday to me!

xoxo

Jordan

Time for Change

So as my Christmas Break comes to an end and I start thinking of what the new year and the new semester have in store I'm both nervous and excited! This semester I will be working towards some of my final requirements, while also taking on an executive position within my sorority. My birthday is also in a few short weeks, and I can't not be excited for that! I finally get to rid myself of my heinous ID, photo and signature! This fresh start also has me thinking of new things I can do to change. I guess most would call those New Year Resolutions. But here's the thing about those resolutions, who actually manages to keep them all year? I know I have yet to even remember what I said at the beginning of 2012, 365 days is just too long to try and remember what you started off to do. So really, these "resolutions" have to be more of a permanent change, for keeps if you will. So mine this year is to have a more active role in everything around me. I want to continue to be active in my sorority, I want to have an active role in my classes, with friends, on campus,etc. I want to change my closed off life I've been living and make a change to connect with more people, which involves being more open to those opportunities, which if you know me personally, will definitely be a challenge. My boss told me that I have to start liking people more [and interacting] for them to realize that they like me. So that's the plan, go out and meet new people and do new things. And I, vowed to myself to change outwardly as well, which means to get healthier and exercise more. So as I leave the nest I want to see how far my wings can take me and how high I can fly...

I guess that's enough symbolism for now!

 "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone."

xoxo

Jordan 

Happy 2013!

Happy New Year! It's very cliché. It is a time for new beginnings! Who doesn't crave a new start from time to time (though, that's definitely not me!).

Though the end of 2012, was definitely in my favor, I feel like 2013 will definitely continue on that course, or at least I hope.

This is the year I'll turn 21, 44 days to be exact, I'm not excited or anything. This year I know exactly what I want out of life and I plan on doing everything in my power to get there.

As I take on more responsibility within my sorority and I continue to raise my GPA, I expect 2013 to go extremely well for me!

The Best Has Yet To Come!

Happy New Year!

xoxo

Jordan

Christmas Break!

Happy 1 Year!

Well it's a few days late, pardon me, but happy one year blog! It's amazing what all can happen in a year! Truly, the people that come and go in your life. The decisions you make and the outcomes. I can honestly say that I am 100% happier this time around writing this post compared to my first post! This school year has to be the best year I've had in school so far! It makes me think of high school. I finally am surrounded by people that love and support me. I have my family, friends, and sisters. I'm excited about the future and everything that is to come and what could come! Jade & I started thinking about possibly writing a tv series and I would get to be the costume designer! I know now that anything I want to happen and can dream, I can definitely achieve! 2012, was a year of many ups and downs, but I feel as if everything was a necessary evil, God didn't give me anything I couldn't handle and I'm so excited to see what he'll throw at me in 2013!

xoxo

Jordan

12/12/12

I know that you've probably heard all about this is the last repeating date we'll ever see in our lifetimes, I actually told my little sister that and she countered with "in our human lifetimes"... HA! Anywhoo, I think it's just too cool a date not to talk about... Think about it, living in the first part of this century we got to see 01/01/01 all the way to 12/12/12. Yeah, sure everyone living now can say that, but really who else? I makes me think of the people who lived at the beginning of every century. I'm sure in 1512, no one cared that today was 12/12/12, but they lived it too! And to think we have something in common with those people is just so cool.

I wish that from the time I was 9 until now at 20, 11 years, I would've taken some sort of picture to commemorate this day. Or rather these days. I wonder what will be different in 2112, I'm sure so much and yet I can't imagine that time ever coming, and yet it will. Because as you grow up, time just keeps moving faster and faster!

12:12, Make a Wish!

Mine? Make Today Worth Remembering!

xoxo

Jordan 

Finding Joe: The Hero's Journey

I honestly love learning. If it's a subject that truly teaches me something and then I want it in every facet of my life. I tell everyone about it and I continue to look into it long after the class is over. In college, that has probably happened three times. Freshman year with my English Comp 1 & 2! Last semester with Humanities and now this semester with Mythology of Ancient Greece! I think because I've always loved History and English. I think it helped also when I had teachers that were truly inspiring, they loved what they taught, and because of them you loved it too.

 This semester, in Myth, we watched a film, Finding Joe: The Hero's Journey, it was during our Hero section of the class so it really came as no surprise. However, the film had a strange effect on me. The entire time I watched it I had an overwhelming want to cry, I'm not sure why but I did. And it made me want to know my purpose in life and to go after it with everything I've got.

After watching the film in class, we were given an assignment, to talk about an event in our lives and then run it through the Hero's Journey. Here's mine:

My hero’s journey was my journey to finding and defining my idea of faith.

1.       The Call:

The summer before I was a sophomore in high school, my grandpa died. I was extremely close to him, and losing someone so close to me lead me on a really dark, and faithless path for three years.

2.       Fear:

After his death, everything I thought I knew was questioned. Not just faith but religion, because these had always been really important in my household. The biggest fear was not knowing what was going on, where to look to, and what to expect. Why would a just God doing something as damaging as allowing something like this happen when it was so unexpected. I was really angry and depressed and that scared me, because they were emotions I had never truly felt before.

3.       Road of Trials:

I had always been an active member of my church youth group and other activities along those lines and I went to church every Sunday. I started to pull out of the group and I stopped going to church regularly. I was pushed and pulled in every direction when it came to all things religious.

4.       Apotheosis:

My senior year of high school, my AP English teacher gave a prompt in which he asked us to write about a time in which we were greatly affected and to lead us up to the event and tell us everything about it, I chose to write about the death of my grandpa. Until that point, I had never really addressed the effect that my grandpa’s death had had on me. I surprised even myself with this realization.

5.       Battling of Dragon(s):

I think that there were probably quite a few dragons, every time I fought with my mom over a church function, or every time I fought with myself over what I was feeling but the biggest dragon was when I decided that I wanted to get a tattoo, which was for my grandpa. I begged my mom off and on for two years; she finally agreed that I could when I was 18. After that concession, I begged for her to get it with me. After some prodding, a few months after I turned 18, she finally agreed. So on June 16^th, 2010, 4 years later on the anniversary of his death, my mom and I got our matching tattoos in honor of my grandpa on our wrists.

6.       The Return:

The tattoo was the last step after a long, sad journey back to my faith. This allowed me to give my grief a face and it allowed me to accept it finally, and start to move on. I have a constant reminder of our bond and I constantly get to answer questions about it, I think that’s my grandpa’s way of saying he’s still watching. I now have a renewed faith, it is stronger and different than before. Before I believed in God because I thought I had to, it was the way I was raised, after those years I now realized that my faith is entirely my own and it is what I make of it, it is no one else’s and no else needs to understand it, it’s my own personal relationship with God.

There's just something so cathartic about writing!

xoxo

Jordan 

Christmas!

7th Heaven could quite honestly be one of my favorite shows, like One Tree Hill, it taught me a lot about myself and others. It will always have a special place in my heart. My favorite episode of the entire series is probably the "Christmas!" episode. Originally aired December 10, 2006.

Eric was looking forward to possibly his last Christmas with the whole Camden clan, but wakes up a few days earlier in heaven as a rather Glenoaks-like town, welcomed by his loving mother-in-law and deceased people who appreciate the efforts he spent on them and their loved ones, and now worry about the mortals still on earth, including the Camden family which is preparing for Christmas, even Kevin and Lucy are back early from Frisco. While in heaven Eric is offered miraculous packed gifts for his family, all things he generously gave his parishioners, such as time for Matt and Mary to spend on their families and erasers for memories which poison relationships, his family decides to expand the day they spend on charity -like every year- to three: one because it feels good, one as Eric's favorite present and one for the infant Jesus.

This episode without fail can make me cry, which if you know me isn't all that difficult, but it is just so touching. It makes me realize how much I want my life to touch and mean something to others. I want for when my final days come to know that the world is a better place when I was here. I'm not sure how I can guarantee this to happen, but I know that I try my best to live each day with this in mind. It's something to keep in mind while spending my days preparing for finals, working, and spending Christmas at home! Merry Christmas! Make a difference! xoxo

Finally, Finals are Here!

Sorry for the long absence. This semester seemed to be never ending! It is seriously probably one of my hardest and yet my most rewarding! And I can't wait to tell you all about it... But back to studying! xoxo