Remember in school when you would daydream about the cute boy or the perfect day or the way that book should've ended and suddenly you hear your name and you're called back to the NOW and you're in class at your desk with all eyes on you and they're waiting with bated breath for your response? I feel a lot like that. I feel as if I'm searching my notes, book, and trying to catch a sympathetic eye for the answer to the question I didn't fully hear.
I feel as if I'm just meandering around trying to find the answer to something when I'm not even sure what the question was... Hoping something will strike a cord and I'll suddenly know exactly what I'm supposed to do. It's like being a firefighter without water. Or wandering the forest and coming across a brush fire and before I can put out one fire, there's suddenly two more.
I went from feeling less than, getting constant rejections from every turn and in return cranking out a dozen more applications for every single 'NO' to suddenly having all these options. It's like I've been swimming against the current and suddenly I realized I could just stand up, cause I was only in hip deep water. I went from having no job offers to jobs on jobs on jobs.
I'm not sure what the answer is. I don't know what's right or wrong or at 23 if that exists. I suppose what's right for me is what's right for me. God won't give me anything I can't handle. But timing really is everything. And I really don't have the luxury to be picky. Money woes are abundant. Why isn't that something they teach you in school? How the real world is just gonna happen without any real heads up...
Maybe they did, but I was just too busy daydreaming...
Who knew my wanderlust would lead to this?
xxoo
KJB
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