There has been no new content for the past few weeks cause I'm having a bit of a hard time, juggling life and KJB Meets World.
This week was a hard week to say the very least. I made a major purchase... I went to Akron to be with my sorority Big as she said goodbye to her little brother. My long time best friend's grandma passed away and I really miss my little sister.
But here are pretty clothes to look at...
Monday:
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!
Wanted to pair orange and black for the special day.
Thank you, Snapchat for this filter... Cause I mean- could I be more beautiful.
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| I Bought A CAR!!! |
My car shopping was finally put to bed with the purchase of this beautiful new baby, name still pending. This purchase made it possible for me to go up to Akron on Tuesday. But I also got kicked off the teet and had to get my OWN car insurance. Being an adult is rough.
While October was incredibly good to me- I was able to meet Gavin DeGraw and I got a new car, it wasn't so kind to my loved ones.
Tuesday:
On Tuesday, I went to Akron to go to a viewing. It was seriously one of the hardest things I've ever experienced. Your own grief is one thing, but trying to be there for someone else's leaves everyone emotionally drained and exhausted. I'm glad I got to see my Big and a few of our friends, but I would do anything for it to have not to have been for a sad occasion.
Wednesday:
Wednesday was the funeral. It was unbearably sadder than Tuesday, if that was even possible.
Wednesday I came home with puffy eyes, a terrible headache and a need to sleep for 5,000 years- but I settled for an hour nap.
Thursday:
Thursday, it was seemingly excruciating. I woke up to find out that my best friend's grandma had passed.
Why do tragedies happen in threes? (Two weeks ago, my long time childhood friend lost her mother to cancer. At the beginning of the month and end of September 3 people I know lost a parent.)
When I came back from Akron, a light I had traveled through on the way up had been removed. Further signifying how tough grieving is. To you- it's your whole world, but the rest of the world doesn't stop just because you want to remove yourself from it.
As far as I can see, grief will never truly end. It may become softer over time, more gentle, and some days will feel sharp. But grief will last as long as love does- forever. It's simply the way the absence of your loved one manifests in your heart. A deep longing, accompanied by the deepest love. Some days, the heavy fog may return, and the nest day, it may recede, once again. It's all an ebb and flow, a constant dance of sorrow and joy, pain and sweet love.
Friday:
It's 12, but it's already a better day than yesterday was, and I feel guilty about that.
How long is an appropriate amount of time to be unbelievably, unshakably sad before you move on to being functionally sad?
This week was extremely difficult but THANK GOD it's Friday!
xo,
KJB
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