Settle in, boys and girls-- ok, mostly girls, well women. Whatever...
It's time for story time, listen to- well read... how I lost $500 in a day, the scam that I've dubbed, PuppyGate.
I have always wanted an English Bulldog puppy...
ALWAYS. Last week, my friend offered me a rescue pup of my very own. By the end of the week- the prospect of bringing home that rescue pup dwindled to
100% zero, in the words of
Veronica Ruckh.
So, because
you can't keep a good girl down-- I started to research English Bulldog puppies that were up for adoption...
Naturally, if you are a bully lover- the dog, not the asshole children (though I'm both, but that's neither here nor there and a story for another time) you know that English Bulldog puppies are upwards of $2,500. That's not the type of money that I have lying around- I'm lucky enough
to live at the mercy of the court, meaning... my mother subsidizes my life choices (#blessed) so when I came across this website:
I contacted them about Winston, it seemed like fate- I've always wanted an English Bulldog and to name him Winston- like Winston Churchill. I heard back a few hours later... It was a seemingly touching and
real story about how this family breed bulldogs from time to time
for the experience not to make money-
WTF, KJB... that wasn't a red flag? Nope, it wasn't... they just wanted $500... This seemed like a dream come true, as I mentioned early- they usually sell for $2,500+
NOT $500 (again
red flag!)... But again, instead of being skeptical I was all in.
I did want a dog after all... but which one, after screenshotting Bailey, Winston, Dean and Daisy and sending them to my mom and friends, I decided on Dean- that would then become Winston.
The next step in the process was to take my debit card and go to Walgreens and through Western Union (sidenote- did you know that you can access Western Union through the Walgreens photo terminals, the more you know)... yep,
still no red flags going up ... All they needed was $500 and then they would ship the puppy, from TX to OH. oh... The only thing that gave me pause was the Western Union fee of processing, $40 for money transfer in minutes or $9.99 for next day... can you guess what my compulsive buyer and impatient ass went with-- you guessed- I went with $40 to have $500 there in minutes, I was basically the perfect person to rob- apparently.
I left Walgreens, feeling like- ya know- if this is all a farce, it's only $500 (only, HA!) and they clearly need it more than me (like that one time at the end of the semester after selling back books when I lost $20 on the way back to my dorm from the bookstore)... But this wasn't $20, this was $500 and I was in no position to think losing out on $540 was acceptable in anyway, but
PAYDAY was Friday... So I waited.
Thursday morning, I went to work and on my drive- I thought about all the places I was going to take pictures with the pup... He was supposed to be arriving Friday afternoon and then our lives together would begin.
So imagine my surprise when I got to work and after a few hours looked down at my phone to see I had an email from the breeder... They needed the tracking numbers to pick up my $500... and of course- wouldn't you know that
THE ONE TIME I don't immediately put my receipts into my wallet, I need them (
YET AGAIN, another
red flag) so I left work and raced home to get the numbers the breeder needed, Josh McTraylon (even seems like a questionable name). I got home, gave hime the numbers and he said he would take the pup to the pet carriers... Winston was a day away from coming home.
When I got back to work after an hour or so, I received a phone call
AT WORK from
the carrier. I needed to check my email and approve the addresses, so they could make sure the dog was sent to the right place. I checked it and confirmed my address. Then... that's when everything started to fall apart... they needed $1100 for a
Thermal Electronic Crate, wait- what... Then I would get 95% of it back upon the pup's delivery... That's right- I would get $1045 back once the dog was in my custody... Well, I didn't have $1100, I live at the mercy of the court remember... I had just spent $540 and payday wasn't for another 24 hours... So naturally I forwarded the email to my mom. That's when the red flags went up- mom was like, something's not right- call BBB. I checked online, they had no record of the pet carriers, then I started to google and naturally-
here's what I found:
- If a carrier contacts you about Thermal Electronic Crates, it's a scam
- If they tell you to go through Western Union, it's a scam
- If they contact you for more money it's a scam
- If they say they'll ship an English Bulldog, it's a scam- there is no pet carrier that is doing that in the United States. Oh.
I immediately contacted Western Union, they have a policy of waiting 15 days when you're trying to buy something because you have to make sure that you won't receive it and that the other person has time to return your money.
The Lancaster Police Department was called and ultimately, I sent my money out of jurisdiction, but the nice police officer did tell me to report the scam through the Ohio Attorney General, so I did.
In the meantime, the "breeder" is still emailing me... I'm not holding my breath on getting my money back, but I'm moderately hopeful.
Ultimately, I'm annoyed with myself- I'm perpetually skeptical of everyone and everything and yet- no red flags were raised during the duration of this transaction. For some reason, I wasn't concerned.
It's like in
Sex and the City, when the women go to the jewelry auction, and the woman in the bathroom says how the benefactor was a smart lady until she fell in love... welp, that was me. I loved the image of that English Bulldog pup.
So now, I'm stuck living out my Gigi moment in
He's Just Not That Into You, when she's on the phone with the bill collector saying that it'll never happen again...
This may or may not have cured me of my impulse shopping. I'm practically sick over this.
So there you have it. Hopefully, you'll be smarter than KJB.
Well, now I'm off to play with rescue puppies... what- I'm only human!
xo,
KJB
